I wasn't going to blog today, because I just didn't have anything to write, everything is pretty much the same. But, I know there are a lot of people checking the blog to see if we've gotten the call, and when they don't see a blog post.....they get worried. Believe me, when I get the call, I will blog immediately...so no news, is good news. We are still just hanging out, playing games, watching movies, quizzing each other on brainquest, coloring, and playing xbox. It's a good thing we get along so well, we've hardly even had any arguments! Yesterday we had a Harry Potter marathon, if you didn't know, Abby is a Harry Potter know it all, ask her anything......she knows it, so she had fun watching all of the movies, and I just let her run the show these days!
We just had a great visit from my friend Emily. She showed me a scripture that she said reminded her of us right now,and since it's Sunday, I thought I'd share it because it is perfect. It's in Alma 31:31. It says, "O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions which shall come upon me......" I pray for strength and patience every day, waiting is hard....it's emotionally draining. I sometimes wish they wouldn't have told me that Abby was moved to 1A, because then I wouldn't be expecting the call yet. I just want it to happen so bad, and this makes it so hard. I tell myself not to think about it and that it will happen when it's supposed to happen, but how do you make yourself not think about something so big, so central to our lives right now? It is our life right now, there's nothing else. I've gone through the steps of what we're going to do when we get the call so many times, that I should handle it perfectly; but probably, I'll freak out and forget my plan anyway. No matter where I am, I think, "What if they call me right now? what will I do?" If nothing else....I am prepared. Abby just waits with complete grace and composure.......I sure don't where she gets it from!! I think it's really starting to wear on me, I could tell when I looked in the mirror this morning, the black circles under my eyes are getting bigger and blacker each day...I don't think I've ever looked more exhausted, even when Abby was first in the ICU. I thought I was doing okay, until Emily asked me today how I was and I answered with one of my standard answers of "good," or "okay," or "hanging in there," and then she asked me how I really was, and tears welled up in my eyes. Maybe this is harder on me than I thought. Sometimes keeping up a strong, solid front is hard, but It's okay to breakdown sometimes, isn't it?
I also realized the importance of family this past week. It was hard knowing that my whole family except for Abby, my dad, and I were gone. I was worried about the heart coming in when we were the only one's here. Even when my brothers got home from Hawaii this morning I felt more secure, just knowing they were there was helpful. I think it will be even better when everyone else is back tomorrow. It's been too long going without seeing Britt and Brock, I'm not used to that and it wasn't fun. Abby misses them so much too. Tomorrow when I've got all of my family back home, and none of my close friends are going to be out of town, it will be the perfect time for us to get Abby's heart, don't you agree???