Abby is doing so much better today!!! Her 4:00 am chest xray showed that her lungs are clearing out,which is important. Her kidney's are now functioning better and she's also eating and drinking more so I'm pretty sure we avoided the feeding tube. She's still retaining a lot of fluid, but the doctors aren't too worried about that. The 2 chest tubes will stay in, at least another day, she's still draining way too much to take them out. We found out that she didn't want to eat because everything tastes hot and spicy-even the oreo shake she ordered yesterday. We decided it must be from all of her meds. I watched her take 9 pills this morning....9, and that's not even counting the IV medications and the pain pills. She's on some pretty serious anti-rejection meds now. To us, they are poisonous...we aren't supposed to even handle them without gloves, but Abby has to take them into her body. I just don't understand how this can work, but I've trusted the docs all along and I won't stop now. Maybe I'll have to take some time reading up on all of her medications. We are still in the CICU, we can't move until she's off of Milrinone, and that will probably be tomorrow. She's now being given the smallest amount. I can not wait to get out of the ICU, it's a very depressing place and it's wearing on me. I think I've seriously been traumatized by some of the things I've seen in here, my stomach just always feels queasy when I'm here and I can't stop worrying about the kids down the hall in the picu. Just to help you understand, think about Abby and what she's going through....I think she's the healthiest kid in here right now. We have got to get moved out of this dark, depressing place ASAP or I'm going to lose it.
Because we're in the ICU, we weren't able to go to the church services today, but they brought the sacrament down to our room and then sent some ladies down to give Abby a young women's lesson. It actually was kind of neat, something that we won't forget. They talked about the importance of family. I think Abby already knows this for sure. It's been hard not having my family together very much through all of this, but when the 4 of us are together, we try to make the most of it and laugh and talk as much as possible. I really miss just living together in the same house, I can't wait to get this back. I just feel a little disconnected from my kids and my friends and the rest of my family. I don't like feeling like this, I think it means we've been away too long and I'm losing those relationships that I've developed over the years. Hopefully we'll get back there soon enough to salvage them, because that is what's most important.
I think tomorrow is going to be a big day for Abby. They should remove at least one of the chest tubes and should take her off of the milrinone. They will do a chest xray and another echo. They are also going to do a heart biopsy tomorrow and maybe another cath test. Hopefully we'll be moving to the 3rd floor, so I get to be a decorator tomorrow too. If we move upstairs, channel 2 will be coming to an interview with Abby and channel 5 is supposed to call to set one up. Like I said, it's going to be a busy day!!! Many people have asked me if I know of anyone coming here that they can send packages with. My dad and Brock will be coming up on Wednesday, if you'd like to send stuff with them, just email my mom at email@example.com to make arrangements, or if you know my sister Meri, she'll be making a trip up soon too, I'm sure she'd bring it for you. Thanks for all of the things that have been sent, Abby and the rest of us, love your packages, it reminds us we haven't been forgotten.
I was thinking back today to the very beginning of all of this, when Abby told me that I shouldn't worry, that everything was going to be okay. She's kept her cool through all of this, never getting scared or nervous..... she's just had sheer faith since may 18th. In the past 2 months I haven't seen her strength waver even once. I'm grateful that she had this confirmation right from the start and that she was comforted through this whole trial. As her mom, it's so comforting for me to know that she's had the spirit with her through everything, she was never alone. It just makes my job even easier and relieves me from some of the pressure I feel. I don't think, in fact, I know, that we never could have gotten through this on our own....it was just too much. I'm just grateful we are who we are.