The question of the week was, "Michelle, why do you want to go home so bad?? what do you expect things will be like when you get there?? Do you think things will be "normal" again?"
No, I don't think things will be like our old "normal," but I think we can make a new "normal" that's even better than the old. Here are some other reasons I want to move home:
-My kids need me. We all love the few days each week that we get to spend together, but it's not enough. We need to be together all the time, in our house, with our dogs and our stuff. It's critical that we get there as soon as possible. I used to think we were a really strong family, but I'm starting to worry, we need to move back....soon.
-I need to get back to 5 am workouts. I can't do it now because I don't like to leave Abby alone, but when we are home, both Britt and Brock will be there in the mornings. I'm getting fat again! I worked so hard a few years back to lose all that weight, and it's slowly creeping back on. I need to spend some time worrying about and taking care of myself again. I can't do that when we are in Salt Lake. All the traveling wears me out, and I'm feeling lazy and gross....just not taking care of myself at all. That needs to change.
-I've got all of the things to do at home and in my classroom that I had saved for summer break and then was never able to do them because we were life flighted on May 18th. I always have a list of things that need to get done over summer break, I never got to my list and it's been driving me crazy!! I'm pretty sure I left everything a big, unorganized mess! That's not okay!
-I want my dogs, I miss them and the kids do too. I know they're happy where they are and probably don't ever think about us, but we need them. There's nothing better than to always have someone wagging their tail and running around in pure joy evertime you walk through the door. I miss that, we need our dogs.
-When we're living in both St. George and Salt Lake and are never in one place very long, it's hard to maintain relationships with friends and family, I can quickly feel them slipping. We're still here dealing with things, while everyone else is getting back to their lives. Abby and I have spent lots of time talking about this and preparing for it. We knew that people that were very interested in us and what we were doing would eventually not be there anymore, things would slow down....but it doesn't make it any easier. You think you know who your true friends are and who really cares about you and who will stick it out and be there, but sometimes you're wrong and it's hard. At least we do understand it and were expecting it, now we just need to figure out how to cope with it. Thank you to those of you that are still sending messages and sticking with us and keeping in touch, we do appreciate it. We're still in the middle of all of this, but I think we'll feel better about it when we get home.
-Traveling is expensive and tiring! I spent almost $700 in gas money last month and put over 5000 miles on my car. I'm ready to just feel settled and not feel like we are hobos!
There are lots of reasons I'm ready to move back, the list could go on, but these are the main reasons. I really am so grateful that we get the 2 or 3 days each week that we do, we are way ahead of where we thought we would be in September. Everytime I'm struggling I just have to remind myself and my kids that we could still be waiting for the heart!! I feel lucky that we get the days we do, and I try to make the most of them...we're just ready to have even more :)
Clinic day tomorrow and exercise test on Tuesday. I'll keep you posted on the results and when they're going to let us go home for this week!