Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Home......at last, and it feels good :)

I am typing this from my own couch, in my own living room, in my own house, and it feels good.  We are finally home.  I know I went a whole week without a post, last week just wasn't a good week.  Have you ever had those weeks when you just don't feel like anything is going right?  I had one of those and I couldn't think of anything positive to say on the blog, so I just didn't say anything at all.  I think with Abby being on house arrest, plus the anxiety I was having about her cath/biopsy yesterday, plus she was feeling sick all week, plus the stress of trying to get moved back in our house and out of our Sugarhouse house, it was just a little too much and it threw me into a funk; but I feel so much better now!!

Yesterday was a good day.  The docs told us that Abby's cath looked amazing, her pulmonary hypertension is much improved.  She also had a clean biopsy!  They decided that last week she probably just had a little stomach virus, but she's feeling better now.  Her whilte blood count is still low, that was the only bad news, so we're back to house arrest.  We just can't have a lot of visitors until it gets back to the normal range! This is hard for Abby, she just wants to be with her friends!  We get to be in St. George all the way until her clinic visit on October 17th....almost 2 full weeks!!!  Abby loved pulling into our driveway today and seeing the balloons and banners on the garage and the front door!  Big thanks to grandma and Meri and Rich and the kids for that!  I was lucky enough to come home, drop the kids off, and go to a party with my friends!  I needed some time to do something for myself and it was so good to see friends and just to have fun and some adult conversation for a while.  It was the perfect welcome home!  I have to say that we experienced another miracle this morning when I was packing the car.  There was no way that the stuff we had left to pack was going to fit in my car, there was just too much....but somehow, it fit.  There wasn't any extra room at all, it just fit perfectly!  Thank goodness because I don't know what we would have done if it hadn't.

I'm so excited to be home, but there are many things I will miss about Salt Lake.  I will miss the security of having PCMC so close, I trust them there now, they know Abby and what she's gone through.  I will miss seeing all of our "heart friends."  You all better stay in touch, we will miss you.  I will also miss seeing my friends and family there.  I've gone to lunch many times and had the opportunity to visit with many of my old friends, aunts and uncles and cousins. Lots of people I haven't seen in a while.  I will really miss you, please call whenever you're driving through St. George....and it's not like we will never be back to Salt Lake, we'll still be there every two weeks!  I'm just glad we missed the snow and cold, I hate that!! 

I feel like we are now beginning the next step in our journey.  Yesterday, all day long, I couldn't help feeling anything but gratitude.  I'm so grateful for the doctors and the transplant team for understanding my need to get home as soon as possible.  We were told that we wouldn't be able to go home for 4-6 months after the transplant...it's only been 2 1/2 and we are home.  I was also feeling so grateful for Abby's donor family.  I think about them every day, and even if they haven't chosen to contact us yet, I know that if it's meant to happen, it will.  I'm still so grateful for the timing with all of this.  I am home and still have about 3 weeks to heal and get settled before I need to return to work.  I need this time, I'm not emotionally ready to teach school yet, but I can be by November 1st.  I'm so grateful for Abby and Brittany and Brock-they are amazing kids and have been so strong through all of this, I can't help feeling like just sighing and saying, "we made it!"  I'm grateful that I no longer ask why this had to happen.  I've realized that it is probably something that I won't understand in this life, but someday I will know.  I also know that the growth my kids and I have experienced the past 4 1/2 months is necessary, it has a purpose....this too will be revealed in the future.  I'm grateful that every time I've felt like I've been pushed to my breaking point, that even just one more thing will be too much,  I've been reminded that I'm not in this alone, He has been there every step of the way and knows how much I can handle.  I have a lot to be grateful for.  Every day we have with Abby is a gift, in fact, every day we have at all is a gift.  I hope I can always live my life remembering to be grateful for that gift!  It's good to be home, it just feels good.


  1. Congratulations! Zeke has a sedated echo on Oct 17th. Maybe we can bump into each other and meet. :)

  2. We are soooo happy to have you home!!! That is so dang exciting. Hopefully Abby will be out of house arrest soon and she can get out and do some normal "home" things too.