Oh how I wish this break wouldn't end!!! We have had the greatest time, I think we all really needed this time to be able to just have fun and not worry about regular life. It seems like ever since we moved back in October, we've just been trying to adjust to our new "normal" routine, and it has been a hard adjustment for all of us..... but this past week and a half we've just been able to enjoy spending time with family and friends-just what we needed, and even relax a little bit too :)
Clinic last Thursday went well, no problems at all! Dr. E. decided we're going to try Abby on a new med that she thinks will help with her swelling in her legs and feet. We all agreed that we don't think it's her heart that's causing it, but Dr. E thinks it's her pulmonary hypertension again. This is something Abby had right from the beginning, but all of her cath's have shown improvement, but for some reason, it's gotten worse again. They are working on getting the med approved by our insurance company, which can be a hard process, and then we'll get Abby started on it and hopefully she'll have some relief! Because we're starting Abby on a new med, the transplant team was reluctant to taper her steroids at the same time, so I guess we'll be waiting for that until our next clinic visit. If you're looking for something to pray for, Abby would appreciate it if you'd pray that the new med will be approved and that when she does start taking it, it will help with her swelling. It's become a daily nuisance and is preventing her from being able to do the things she wants to do.....like run and play soccer! If all goes well, we don't have to go back to clinic until the 16th!!! This is the longest time we've spent away from PCMC since May 18th-this is awesome, but a little scary too!
As far as New Year's resolution's go, I already broke 3 of mine today.....this has to be a record! One of the things that I wanted to do in 2012 was to keep Abby healthy. Well, she woke up today not feeling so great. She has a cold and a sore throat and a slight fever....not good. I will be calling the transplant team tomorrow to see what we need to be watching for. Yes, we're nervous. We've been told for the past 6 months that we can't let Abby get sick or she could end up back at PCMC or won't be able to fight it because of her immuno-suppression, and will be sick for a long time. We tried, we really did!! Now, we're just hoping that everything works out okay.
This brings me to the 2nd resolution that I broke today-I wanted to do a better job of dealing with things as they come up with Abby. I want to learn to not overreact, and to just be calm and think through things before I worry too much. Well, when Abby woke up sick today, my resolution didn't work out so well. I will admit that I panicked and my mind starting going to the "what-if's" again. Luckily, I have good friends that can bring me back to reality. I'm sure I'll get plenty more opportunities to work on this resolution.
My 3rd failure today was that we wanted to be more consistent about going to church this year, but, we didn't get to go today because Abby is sick. It was hard to be consistent this past year because of everything that happened, and then we've been trying to keep Abby healthy, but I was just feeling like finally, we were going to be able to start going all the time again....this was supposed to be the day! But I guess next Sunday will have to be the day instead.
Another thing that I want to work on this year is that I want to continue to value every friendship and relationship that I have. I can't even tell you how many times just that one blog comment, email, text, phone call, etc. is what pulled me through the tough times. Or that just knowing that people were there that cared for us and wanted to help us made things bearable. I want to be that person that makes a difference. I want everyone that I know or come in contact with to feel that by knowing Michelle Doman, their life has been enriched in some way. I know that this is going to be a challenge, some relationships are tricky, but I also think it can be done.
Another thing that I'm going to do this year is to accept what has happened to Abby, accept the changes that have taken place in my family and in my life because of it, and accept that this is our new reality. I don't think that I've done this yet, I'm still in disbelief a lot of the time, but I think acceptance is just around the corner.
I'm going to be working on lots of other things, mostlythey involve caring about some things more and caring about other things, things that don't matter as much or that I can't control a little less. I'm really hoping and praying that 2012 is easier for the Doman family than 2011, but hopefully, if we make things easier we can still experience the miracles and still recognize the tender mercies!!
first off, i'll be keeping abby in my prayers that the meds will work out and that her cold goes far far away!!! now with the resolutions, in my opinion, you haven't had any fails. res 1 is of course a good one. you try your best as a parent to keep abby healthy and i'm sure that you are great at it, but sometimes, there are things beyond our control that just happen. So keep doing your best, but don't think you failed if something happens. res 2 is just silly. you are a mother!!! any good mom is gonna deal with tough things with a little overreaction and wondering of what they could have done to better protect their child. personally, i do it all the time :). and your 3rd, not a fail because you are just working on number 1 by not taking her out to get even more sick. You aren't going to be able to go to church all the time, and its ok to have sick days. The Lord knows your hearts! You are a great mom and have some amazing kids! I hope you have a great 2012, and again, i'll be keeping abby in my prayers as always! <3
ReplyDeleteresolutions are highly over-rated anyway! :)
ReplyDeleteGiven everything that you have been through, I think that breaking your resolutions were completely justifiable!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year
My life is already enriched just by being a follower of this blog!
ReplyDeleteMichelle you are so amazing! I hope we get to meet in person someday. Our new normal started in the middle of June when Zeke came home from the hospital. It is January now and I am FINALLY starting to feel like life is becoming more balanced. My husband started a second job 2 days before Zeke went to the hospital for the second time so we've had to adjust to new work schedules too. So here we are 6 months after coming home finally figuring it out. Don't give up, you can do it because look at you, you ARE doing it! You're proof! :)
ReplyDeleteps...it is REALLY hard for us to make it to church too. If we bring Zeke we only take him to the first hour, and then leave early. We wipe down the pew with clorox wipes, sanitize all during the hour, and never let him on the floor. I supply the bathroom with clorox wipes and put up a huge note encouraging people to use them on everything. I put a few bottles of sanitizer throughout the building and they are getting used so that is comforting. You can only do so much. When staying home is the better option you just have to. When staying home is my only option I turn on Paul Cardall for a few hours. :)
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