A "Happy Birthday" post that you want to be sure to read....Abby's experience

Abby is one amazing kid!  She turns 13 tomorrow and has gone through more this past year then most people do their entire lives.  I am so proud of Abby and how well she has handled herself through everything, there's just something about Abby that's just "right."  It's hard to explain, but it's there.  She just seems to know what to say, and how to say it, and what to do, and when to do it.  She's always been like this, but this past year, it's developed even more. 

We've struggled and and gone back and forth this past year deciding whether or not to share this post.  Up until now, we've only shared it with very few, close people.  But, after much thought and prayer, we as a family, feel like now is the time.  Maybe this is how Abby is supposed to "Save Lives!" 

Please remember that this is a very sacred and spiritual experience to us, and it's coming from an innocent 12-year-old.  This experience is very real and it means a lot to us.  We feel like it's an experience that can change your life.  Because it's so sacred and so personal, we ask that you don't copy this or reprint it unless you ask our permission first. It will probably make you cry, and it will really make you think.  It could possible make you step back and examine how you're living your life right now, I know I did!  Abby wrote this only 5 days after her transplant, on July 17th.  It happened the only night, ever, that I didn't stay in the hospital with her.  Britt offered to stay and I went to our Sugarhouse house and tried to get some much needed sleep.  In the middle of the night, I got the most awesome text, from the most inspiring little girl, that I will ever get. It's our hope in sharing this experience, that you'll be able to see and feel and little of what Abby was to experience that night.

 I had my heart transplant on July twelfth and last night, July 17^th,  I was laying in my bed at Primary Children's Hospital and I could  just not go to sleep.  I was tired and I noticed that the sink was on, not the bubbly stuff (the chest tube drains) and they were supposed to be... and so I turned on the bubbly stuff and laid down on my side.  It was hot and so I took off the blanket and sat there and tried to go to sleep, but a voice started talking to me, like it was trying to get through a radio station.  It wasn’t very clear, but like coming through static, but it was understandable. I thought it was coming through the intercom in the hospital ceiling.  It was a man's voice and He, I realized a little later that it was Heavenly Father or the Holy Ghost, said, “Abby can you hear me?  I need you to listen.” and so finally I said okay, this is talking to ME so I listened.  He asked me if I was calm and I was thinking, “Okay I'm a little freaked out, a voice is talking to me!” He said, “Don’t worry, can you hear me?”  He kept making sure I could hear Him, a lot.  He just kept asking if I could hear him and then I said, “Yes,” and then He asked me slowly, “Do you want to know what happened? Are you ready to know?” I just knew he was talking about what happened on May 18^th, the day my heart stopped for almost 10 minutes. I thought about it and I felt like I was ready, and so I said, “Yes, I’m ready.”  But before I could see it, He told me that I had to repent for all of my sins.  He didn’t really tell me, I just knew I had to.  So over and over again, I said, “I’m sorry.” I was crying really hard and couldn’t really breathe, it was hard to breathe and then He just said, “Okay, that’s enough.”  He didn’t make me say everything I was sorry for, he knew in my heart I was sorry, and that was enough.  And then He said, “Calm your breathing, breathe in with me and breathe out with me” and so we took five or six breaths and I started feeling really calm.  He asked me if my mind was clear and I thought no, so he said, “that's ok, what I need you to do is close your eyes, don't open them until I tell you to” and I thought okay. We did breathing again and my mind got really cleared out, and my breathing slowed and then He said, “You are ready now.”  Then, it was like a movie was starting. I was watching it like I was watching a movie, I could see myself.  We were walking through a patch of amazing colors, Christ and me, the closest to it on earth is flowers, and the flowers were about up to my belly button and Jesus and I were walking in white gowns, they were really white, you can't even imagine the color.  Christ also had a purple sash going across his chest. We were holding hands.  There was no one else around and nothing else there, it was like we were on a hill.  His hands were scarred but they were soft, his face was soooo soothing and calming. But it looked younger than the pictures we usually see, and His hair wasn’t as long.  His voice was like honey and he was asking me if I wanted to stay here with Him or go back to earth and be with my family.  I looked around me, no one was there, just me and Him and the sky was this blue color and there were no clouds, it was really bright.  There were colors that I can’t explain, we don’t have them here.  It took me a long time to decide to stay or go, it was a very difficult decision.  It was very peaceful and happy where we were, very inviting.  He just waited patiently while I thought about it.   I made my decision and said that I wanted to go back and be with my family, and I wanted to save lives. He asked me if I was sure and then He told me that there would be lots of struggles ahead of me.  I nodded, and said I was sure.  I was crying in both worlds in this part and He was crying too.  He said if I go back, lives would change and I said, “I know, I'm willing.” Then He kissed me and we hugged and he said to always remember that He would be with me.  Then the movie was over and the voice in PCMC asked me if I understood what I had seen.  I said, “Yes, I understand.”   Then I felt really happy and just overwhelmed at the same time.  Then He went on to say things that I couldn’t understand, I don’t know if it was a different language, or just things I couldn’t’ comprehend.  I got frustrated, because I didn't think I could hear him right, but he calmed me back down with the breathing again, and I knew that my mind just couldn't understand it.  I think maybe is had something to do with the second coming, but I just don’t know for sure.  He said it was okay if I didn’t understand, He was just going to tell me anyway.  I tried to understand but it’s just…. you can’t!  Then He told me He was going to leave and He asked me if I was okay with that,  I said,  “Yes, that’s okay.  I understand.”    He stopped talking and all the sudden I felt really, really really, really, really tired, but really happy too. 

I know that I'm so relieved that Abby made the decision to come back to spend a little more time with us.  We don't know how much more time, but we are grateful for every minute we have with her.  Every birthday is a milestone!  Happy Birthday Abby, thank you for being willing to share your experience with everyone.  I hope that it does help to "save and change lives!"